Friday, October 25, 2013

The Single Man…. Is no longer single!

There was once a single man. A man who vowed never to get married. Or remarried. A man who loved the single life….relationships without strings. Flings without complications. Infidelity without consequences. This man stole a tiny piece of my heart…. And then eventually, married someone else. One-of-a-kind, I thought. A confused man who obviously wasn’t sure what he wanted. Or maybe he just wasn’t that into me. Won’t happen again, I thought. And then it happened, again.


Single men are a rare species. And when you meet the few around, you realise why most of them are still single. But when you meet one that you really connect with, a man who makes you smile, laugh and feel all the right feelings, you wonder…. Even if marriage is not high on your list and you’re content with what you have, you still wonder. Yet, you realise that what you have is special and you’re happy to leave it at that, without signing your name on the dotted line. But what happens when he signs the dotted line with another woman? Do you question yourself, or the man?


The first time it happened to me, it broke a tiny bit of my heart. After all, he had only stolen a tiny piece of it. The first time, I questioned myself. But the second time, I began to wonder why the single man was not really single. Was it a coincidence that the two men I felt something for, the men who vowed never to get married, went on to marry other women?

Where are the real single men?


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Do I want to know?

So here's a question. Do you want to find out that you have a serious illness and give yourself a chance to get treated and maybe live or you don't want to find out and live the rest of your life (however short that maybe) in oblivion and having fun in bits.

So let me state here that there is nothing wrong with me. I have planned a normal health check up with Sonali (co-author of this blog) which includes a mammogram and Pap smear. Our first. 

This plan has been done with much trepidation, anxious discussion and scheduling with her and the guarantee of her company.

Am I the only one worried or afraid of these? Or is this normal ? And back to what I started this with, do I want to know if there is anything wrong? 

I don't live the healthiest of lives. Made lots of mistakes in making choices which have also effected me health wise but yet it's not that bad. Exercise has been the errant man flitting in and out of my life. Healthy home cooked food as made guest appearances in my house here and there and I quit smoking ages ago. Tolerance to alcohol has diminished and mid week partying sacrificed for a good nights sleep. So I should be ok, right? 

Married but looking for fun

This blog has been inspired by a chat with an ex/best friend yesterday where as  usual we rambled on and talked about topics from sex to holidays and back to sex.

Bear with me while I give a short background. Met him when I was much younger. He older and sexier. His voice made my knees buckle. He was married and I was not. He was looking for fun and I thought so was I. He grew fond of me and I fell in love. Eventually after 7 years somewhere my brains kicked in and I stopped talking to him for a year to get over him. 

There is obviously something about him as I miss when I don't keep in touch and have a ginormous soft spot for him. But I rather hug and cuddle him now than sleep with him.

Back to yesterday. He was giving me a detailed download on the new woman in his life. She is married too like him. I asked him, "doesn't it get sticky?". He responded, "I find the "wishing to remain married, but looking for some fun on the side" the best type actually".

That got me thinking. In the last two years where I have been single and I won't lie, the entire period has not been a choice, I have come across many a married man who love their wife. Have a very secure picture perfect life from the outside. But are looking for fun.

From the top of my head, five. These are sexy, accomplished men. As I mentioned, it seems they have the perfect marriage. But one work trip evening catch up, one afternoon coffee, one chat, one drink and they put it out there. They are open to fun with me. 

So is this the norm nowadays? Is this what marriage nowadays means? Do I then stop looking for the best friend/travelling companion/amazing sex person I am looking for?